Turn Pester Power into Parent Power: How to stop your kids from pestering you to buy things.
Can I have it? Can I have it? Can I? Can I? PLEASSSEEEEEEE!!!!This could be your child talking about a box of sugary cereal, a cartoon-themed toothbrush, a new app, or just about anything. Advertisers, doctors, and others call it “Pester Power.”Pester Power is the power of children to nag their parents into buying them particular products.Advertisers believe in Pester Power. In 2010, companies spent more than $15 billion advertising to children. Two hours of TV a day equals watching about 10,000 commercials a year. It’s not just TV -- ads are on computers, at sporting events, and even integrated into school curriculum.Research shows your child can know company logos by 18 months, ask for brand names at two years, and ask for the “latest fashions” by the age of 6 or 7. It’s also completely normal for young children to not know the difference between fantasy and reality and, thus, have a hard time knowing the difference between an advertisement and reality. Your child might believe an advertized toy can really come to life!It’s no wonder your child is so good at pestering you to buy!
Parenting for Less Pestering
Despite the constant barrage of advertising, you CAN help your child be a better consumer and lessen the persistent pestering.When your child is watching television or other media, be with them as much as possible. Make your time together effective:
When your child is watching television
- Mute the sound and pull your child’s attention away from the screen when an ad comes on. How about jumping jacks? Physical activity is a good balance to sitting around a screen.
- Talk in an age-appropriate way about what’s wrong with the advertisement. If a doll comes to life, ask, “Do your dolls come to life? No. Dolls don’t really come to life and play games with you.” Add humor. Talk about pretend play. “Silly people think dolls come alive. Dolls are fun, but they aren’t alive. We can play pretend though. Let’s pretend we are dolls who are alive.”
- Use advertising time to discuss concepts from what you’re watching, or get some water, put on pajamas or brush teeth, or give hugs.
If you’re cooking dinner in the kitchen and your child is watching TV or on the computer, keep an ear out for ads. If you’re unable to discuss immediately, try talking about it at dinner.When considering limits for your child’s screen time, also consider the amount of advertising they are seeing.When your child asks (or pesters!) for something, have an age-appropriate honest conversation about it:
- “You already have lots of great blocks. I bet we can build a house like the one on TV with the blocks you have.”
- “We bought Sesame Street band-aids last week. Remember, we said we could get a new box when we are done with this box. Let’s count how many we have and see how pretty they are.”
Money
One way to help your child pester less is to teach them more about money. Along with your child learning logos, research also says children as young as three years old can understand ideas like saving and spending:
How to teach your child about saving and spending
- Take a clear jar and use it as a piggy bank! Your child will have a visual of money growing or going away.
- Notice and call attention to it when coins are adding up in the jar.
- If your child asks for a small purchase, have them use their money. Show them there will be less money after the purchase. Check with them to see if they are glad they used the money right after they purchase it and after some time passes (and the thrill may be gone).
- Set goals! Have your child set a goal - They have to have roller skates? Find out the cost and have them save for it from an allowance or the birthday money they get from grandma and grandpa. Set a time for meeting their goal. Make sure to remind them when they “pester” for a different toy – “Remember, you are saving for skates, so we can’t buy this Lego set.”
- Let your child pay for things. Give your child a dollar to pick out fruit at the store. Explain that a dollar can buy three bananas or two oranges. They may love oranges and think bananas are just okay, but want more pieces of fruit. Help them process different choices.
- Talk to your child about your purchases, “We’re going to buy bananas today because they are less expensive than oranges.”
- Think about what values your actions and words are demonstrating. If you often talk about people in terms of how much money they have or are always fighting about money, your child will get the idea that money and things are more important than other values.
Prevent that Pestering
No one can stop the steady stream of advertisements your child will be exposed to. You can, however, help your child be a good consumer and can even prevent persistent pestering. Communicating openly and often about what they see and hear, as well as teaching them about the value of money, can turn pestering into peaceful, playful, positive times together. This article is brought to you by Parenting Now! Parenting Educators and authors, Tova Stabin, Claire Davis and Lynne Swartz and consultant Jay Thompson (andupdatemywebsite.com). Parenting Now! is passionate about happy, healthy families. For more information about Parenting Now! please visit their website (https://parentingnow.org/) or contact us at info@parentingnow.org
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