What to Do With A Tween?

Your child is not a child anymore, and yet not quite a full blown teenager either. Those years in between finishing elementary school and starting high school are unique, and so are the social, emotional and physical changes that begin to occur during this time. This is an important time for children to gain a sense of responsibility along with their growing independence, and to prepare for the challenges they will face in high school and beyond. So what should you expect from a ‘tween’ on the rise, and what can you do as a parent to help this gawky stage of life go smoothly? Hopefully these tips will help you navigate the tween scene.Social/ Emotional/ Intellectual Changes Children in this age group might:

• Start to form stronger, more complex friendships and peer relationships. It becomes more emotionally important to have friends, especially of the same sex.
• Show more interest in and influence by peer group, and in turn experience more peer pressure.
• Become more independent from the family and express less affection toward parents; sometimes might seem rude or short-tempered.
• Focus on themselves; going back and forth between high expectations and lack of confidence.
• Become more aware of his or her body as puberty approaches. Show more concern about body image, looks, and clothes.
• Face more academic challenges at school, and begin to feel stress from those challenges.
• Begin to see the point of view of others more clearly.
• Have an increased attention span and more ability for complex thought.

Positive Parenting TipsFollowing are some things you, as a parent, can do to help your child during this time:

• Spend time with your child. Talk with her about her friends, her accomplishments, and what challenges she will face. Respect your tween’s opinions and take into account her thoughts and feelings. It is important that she knows you are listening to her.
• Be involved with your child’s school. Go to school events; meet your child’s teachers. Encourage your child to read every day. Talk with him about his homework.
• Encourage your child to join school and community groups, such as a sports team, or to be a volunteer for a charity.
• Help your child develop his own sense of right and wrong. Talk with him about risky things friends might pressure him to do, like smoking or dangerous physical dares.
• Help your child develop a sense of responsibility—involve your child in household tasks like cleaning and cooking. Talk with your child about saving and spending money wisely.
• Meet and get to know your tween’s friend, and meet their families.
• Talk with your child about respecting others. Encourage her to help people in need. Talk with her about what to do when others are unkind or disrespectful.
• Help your child set his own goals. Encourage him to think about skills and abilities he would like to have and about how to develop them.
• When using praise, help your child think about her own accomplishments. Saying "you must be proud of yourself" rather than simply "I’m proud of you" can encourage your child to make good choices when nobody is around to praise her.
• Talk with your child about the normal physical and emotional changes of puberty. Be honest and direct with your teen when talking about sensitive subjects such as drugs, drinking, smoking, and sex.
• Be affectionate and honest with your child, and do things together as a family.
• Know where your child is and whether a responsible adult is present. Make plans with your child for when he will call you, where you can find him, and what time you expect him home.
• Many children get home from school before their parents get home from work. It is important to have clear rules and plans for your child when she is home alone.
•  Talk with your child about what you expect from him (behavior) when no adults are present. If you provide reasons for rules, it will help him to know what to do in most situations.

Healthy Bodies

• Provide plenty of fruits and vegetables; limit foods high in solid fats, added sugars, or salt, and prepare healthier foods for family meals.
• Keep television sets out of your child's bedroom. Limit screen time, including computers and video games, to no more than 1 to 2 hours.
• Encourage your child to participate in an hour a day of physical activities that are age appropriate, enjoyable and offer variety! Just make sure your child is doing three types of activity: aerobic activity like running, muscle strengthening like climbing, and bone strengthening – like jumping rope – at least three days per week.
• Make sure your tween knows about the importance of wearing seatbelts. Motor vehicle crashes are the leading cause of death among 12- to 14-year-olds.
• Encourage your tween to wear a helmet when riding a bike, skateboard or inline skates, and when playing contact sports. Injuries from sports and other activities are common.

Each child is different and develops and his own pace, so your experience with your child during these tween years will be unique to your family. Just remember that even while they may need more space and independence than they have before, they still need plenty of love, guidance and structure from their parents if they are too succeed. Get to know your mysterious tween well, be there for them when they need it (even if they don’t know they do), and before you know it they will be on to the next stage of life, ready for high school and beyond.This article has been adapted from information published by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.