Teaching Your Preschooler To Stop Interrupting
When you first become a parent, even the simplest of tasks can seem challenging. But as you move through the baby and toddler years, certain things become easier, such as your child being able to tell you when they are hungry or helping to put their toys away.However, even when your child is 4-years old, trying to hold an adult conversation for more than 5 minutes might still prove challenging.By the time kids are preschool aged, many are capable of playing independently for 10 to 30 minutes. That, of course, won’t always stop them for telling you something “reallllly” important while you are on the phone scheduling wellness checkups.When teaching preschoolers about interrupting, it’s a good idea to start with setting realistic expectations for their age group.Preschoolers can:
- Play quietly for short periods of time.
- Can learn 2 or 3 rules to follow regarding interrupting.
Don’t expect:
- Preschoolers to play independently for over 30 minutes.
Children are curious and have lots of questions about their world and you are their go-to source of information. They also thrive on attention and can sometimes struggle with sharing their parents’ attention with other people.While we try to answer all their questions and offer a listening ear to all their golden nuggets of observations, teaching your preschooler how to get your attention appropriately when you’re occupied is an important skill that will serve them well as they grow older.
Preparation is Key
Give your preschooler opportunities to practice not interrupting by learning to wait for short periods of time. Some opportunities to practice waiting might be: When your child asks for a snack (2 minutes), getting out the door, when you are attending to a sibling, writing an email, texting a friend, etc.Success will come from preparing your child ahead of time. Tell your child that you are going to make an important phone call. Follow with: "Is there anything you need from me right now?" Then make a plan for what your child will be doing when you are on the phone. Decide on two or three rules for your child to follow:
- “I am going to make a call to the doctor’s office. You need to play quietly until I am finished.”
- “Let’s pick a quiet activity for you to do while I am on the phone.” Offer choices: “Do you want to color or play with your building blocks?”
- “If you need to talk to me, gently touch my arm and say ‘Excuse me,’ and wait until I hang up the phone.”
Before an activity where you need less interruptions, remind your preschooler of the rules: “I am going to talk to a person at the bank. Do you remember our rules about not interrupting while I am talking?” Follow up with praise for remembering the rules or repeat the rules back to your child again if necessary.
Boredom Busters
Your best defense against interruptions is usually some form of entertainment. In today’s busy world, it’s impossible to avoid taking kids along on “boring” errands or activities. When possible, plan ahead and make sure you pack along a bag of snacks and toys that your child can play with independently. Ideas include:
- Coloring book with a small box of crayons
- Small stack of picture books
- Some race cars or trains
- Small tubs of play dough
- Pipe cleaners for building shapes
- Sticker books
Give yourself a few minutes to help your child choose and set up the activity they want to play. Make sure they have everything they need and go over the rules. You may also want to use this time to discuss rewards or consequences for their behavior.If you’d like to use a reward system for following the rules while you are busy, decide what you’d like your child to earn and talk about it with your child ahead of time. You could offer something the two of you could do together, like visit the playground, or you could offer small toys like stickers.Figure out ahead of time how you want to handle interrupting. Tell your child what will happen if the rules are broken: “Remember, we don’t get to play at the park if interruptions keep happening during my phone call.” If your child interrupts when you’ve asked them not to, you may want to enforce “quiet time.” Have your child sit quietly nearby for 2 minutes before they can come out of quiet time.When possible, praise your preschooler for playing quietly and following the rules: “Sasha, thank you for playing quietly while I talk with Grandma. I just need a few more minutes to talk.” Offer to get her started on another activity if she is losing interest in the one she is currently doing.Some generations grew up with the notion that children should be “seen and not heard.” However, it’s in a child’s nature to ask questions, engage with their parents, and be curious about the world. With proper guidance, we can teach children how to play quietly and independently, as well as wait patiently, while still nurturing their need for attention and interaction. This article is brought to you by Parenting Now! Parenting Educators and authors Amanda Bedortha, Claire Davis and Lynne Swartz and consultant Jay Thompson (andupdatemywebsite.com). Parenting Now! is passionate about happy, healthy families. For more information about Parenting Now! please visit their website (https://parentingnow.org/) or contact us at info@parentingnow.org
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