Talking to Children About Violence

High profile acts of violence can confuse and frighten children who may feel in danger or worry that their friends or loved ones are at risk. They will look to you for information and guidance on how to react.

Here are some simple tips from the National Association of School Psychologists to help you help your children feel safe:

Reassure your children that they are safe. Validate their feelings. Explain that all feelings are okay when a tragedy occurs. Let your kids talk about their feelings, help put their feelings in perspective, and help them find appropriate ways to express their feelings.

Make time to talk. Use their questions as a guide for how much information to provide. Be patient. Watch for clues that your children need to talk.

Keep your explanations developmentally appropriate. Young children need brief, simple information balanced with reassurances of safety. Upper elementary and early middle school children will be more vocal in asking questions about their safety and may need help in separating reality from fantasy. Discuss concrete efforts in the community to support safety. Upper middle and high school students may have strong and varying opinions about the causes of violence in society. Emphasize the role that everyone plays in maintaining safety.

Limit television viewing of these events. Be aware if the television is on in common areas. Developmentally inappropriate information can cause anxiety and confusion, particularly for young children. Adults need to be mindful of the conversations they have in front of children, even teenagers, and limit their exposure to vengeful, hateful or angry comments that might be misunderstood.