Parent Stress
The Long Haul
You’ve made it through the joys, challenges and adjustments of having a new baby – the first smile and sleepless nights, the first time they say “mama” and the pain of teething. Now that your child is a pre-schooler or a kindergartener, you can let go of the stress of being a new parent and the challenges of caring for an infant, right?As every parent will tell you, parenting at every stage has joy and challenges… and stress. A 2010 survey by the American Psychological Association found that 73 percent of parents report family responsibilities as a significant source of stress.
Stressing Out
Stress isn’t always bad for you (or your children). Your body sometimes reacts with stress to get you going, like when your breathing and heart rate get faster. Sometimes that’s what you need to get out the door if you’re late or about to perform. But if you constantly feel stress and are worried about nearly everything nearly every day your health will suffer. Signs of stress include:
- Trouble falling asleep, staying asleep or sleeping too much.
- Smoking or overusing drugs, including alcohol.
- Overeating, not eating enough or eating poorly.
- Frequent impatience with your child.
- Frequent headaches or stomach aches.
- Feeling overwhelmed or hopeless.
- Lack of energy.
Understanding Your Stress
A good way to start dealing with stress is to understand which activities or environments increase your stress.
- Are you more stressed at a certain time of day?
- Try to plan your day so at that stressful time of day you have some down time. If that time of day is when you pick up your child at school, for example, then try to:
- Practice self-care like breathing exercises or listening to your calming tunes when you go pick up your child.
- Take a five-minute (or longer) walk with your child after school. The fresh air and exercise will do you both good.
- Try to plan your day so at that stressful time of day you have some down time. If that time of day is when you pick up your child at school, for example, then try to:
- Does your breathing get rapid when you think you may be even a couple of minutes late?
- Plan your schedule with extra time for the “unexpected.”
- Get ready for work and school the night before. Pack lunches. Put out clothes and book bags.
- Does the small story time room at the library make you feel trapped and uncomfortable?
- Are there other story times you can go to?
- Can someone else take your child to story time?
- Third cup of coffee giving you energy, but also making you anxious?
- Try decaf, green tea, a high-protein smoothie, nuts or another healthy snack.
- If you have time, sit and rest or take a 15-minute power nap.
Prevention is the Best Medicine
No one, and surely not parents, can avoid all stress. Making a little time each day to appreciate and enjoy your family can go a long way in helping to prevent some stress. Here’s some other ideas:
- Be Realistic
- Can you really expect yourself to get everything on your list done?
- Prioritize a few items and leave the rest to another time or ask for help.
- Consider planning for when things do NOT go smoothly, like a long line at the supermarket or your child needing extra attention after a hard day at school.
- “Choose your battles.”
- Is it worth it to try to go shopping with your child if you know your child almost always has a hard time and you lose your patience?
- Can you go while your child is at school or other activity?
- Can you go at night when your child is asleep and your partner or spouse is home? Stores are usually less busy at night and it can afford you a little break.
- Is it worth it to try to go shopping with your child if you know your child almost always has a hard time and you lose your patience?
- One Thing At A Time
- The last thing you need is to be stressed out trying to reduce your stress! Set yourself up for success!
- Don’t try to start yoga, date night, and change your eating habits all in one week!
- Start with a few minutes of yoga a couple of times a week. Build it up until it becomes a habit before you try another stress reducing activity.
- The last thing you need is to be stressed out trying to reduce your stress! Set yourself up for success!
When the Stress Hits
- Is stress is making you feel impatient with your child?
- Take time to do something positive and fun with them.
- Play a game. Take a walk and watch them gleefully jump in puddles. You’ll be reminded of their sweet selves and your loving connection.
- High stress?
- Fit in some time with your partner or close friend. Having someone you trust to talk, complain and laugh with can do wonders.
- Join a parenting group! Talking with other parents reduces stress and can create new friendships to see you through all your child’s ages and stages.
- Get moving! Physical activity is a great stress reliever.
- Prioritize time for yourself, even if it’s hard to do when you are a parent.
- Get up 15 minutes early and have a quiet cup of tea before your child wakes and everyone needs to get ready.
- Grocery shopping alone? Park far from the store. Walking and being outside will afford you a little space and is good for your physical health.
Last, But Not Least
Many families live in situations that create extra stress because of discrimination, inequality, low incomes, lack of services that address their needs, etc. If your life circumstances create high stress, seek safe and supportive community and individual resources to get support.If you continue to struggle with stress and it interferes with your life and your ability to parent, contact a professional. Talk with a physician or counselor to see what they can recommend.
Stress Can Be Managed
No matter the circumstances, no one lives without stress, certainly not parents. Some stress is expected, but too much can create serious problems. Address your stress with preventive and everyday tools so you and your child will thrive and build a healthy loving relationship. This article is brought to you by Parenting Now! Parenting Educators and authors, Tova Stabin, Claire Davis and Lynne Swartz and consultant Jay Thompson (andupdatemywebsite.com). Parenting Now! is passionate about happy, healthy families. For more information about Parenting Now! please visit their website (https://parentingnow.org/) or contact us at info@parentingnow.org
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