Get Organized Without Losing It

With school starting soon, both parents and teachers may be dreading the job of keeping kids—and themselves—organized as we face yet another season of homework, field trips, sports practice, music lessons, teacher conferences, PTA meetings and fund-raising projects. For help, we asked Parenting Press authors and others who work with families for their best tips:Routine. Staying organized is all about routine, says a middle school counselor. Her point was echoed by every one of our other “experts.” As another said, “In a structured home, things happen in the same way as about the same time every day.”Lists. Lists remind kids of the routines. Mary Beth Quinsey, the University Place, Washington, author of Why Does that Man Have Such a BIG NOSE?, describes the value of the very detailed list made for her perpetually messy, disorganized and tardy grandson: “He felt more independent and was able to get ready without my daughter nagging him.” This list, she adds, includes everything: Use the bathroom, brush your teeth, get dressed using the clothes laid out for you, etc. For those who don’t read, the lists can be a series of pictures (or even photos of the child doing the task).Create incentives. The Quinsey grandson’s list also included rewards for getting through the certain tasks: #5 is “Play with toys for 10 minutes” and #10 is “If everything is done, watch cartoons for 15 minutes.”Commit to organization. It can be time-consuming to establish routines, but well worth the effort, says an elementary school psychologist. “Set up your mornings the night before and in the same manner,” she advises. For example, make lunches after dinner and lay out clothes at bedtime. Make sure backpacks and homework are packed before lights out. Be consistent and reinforce the value of organization, especially with teenagers, agrees a school counselor.Simplify. Establish a single spot in the home for library books, permission slips, school binders, glasses, keys and other must-have items, to ensure things don’t get lost. Reduce the number of things kids must keep track of: “Instead of a binder for each subject, have one large binder to keep all work in,” recommends one counselor.Make it easy to find things. Large spaces can attract clutter and are sometimes difficult to search through. One school counselor helps her own kids find school supplies by providing shallow open-topped boxes or a box lid for scissors, glue sticks and markers. The boxes (she often uses cardboard boxes from big-box store packages of bottled water) keep small items from straying to far corners of shallow drawers.Be realistic. Allow enough time, especially for the morning routine, says Eileen Kennedy-Moore, of Cranbury, New Jersey, the psychologist parent of four children and the author of What About Me? 12 Ways to Get Your Parents’ Attention (Without Hitting Your Sister). Get up 15 or 30 minutes before your children so you can be showered and dressed before they’re up. She also suggests you think carefully about why a child may be dawdling: does he or she need more sleep?Get creative. Play lively music in the morning; it may get everyone moving faster, smiles Kennedy-Moore.Shift responsibility. “Having the role of ‘Chief Nag’ isn’t fun for parents—or spouses—and it guarantees an unpleasant morning for everyone,” says Kennedy-Moore. Besides giving her children alarm clocks that they set at bedtime and have to get out of bed to turn off in the morning, she uses a timer to signal when it’s time to put on shoes and coats and walk out the door.Create consequences. At Kennedy-Moore’s house, her four children have to confirm they’ve done all their morning tasks before they sit down to breakfast. “A natural consequence for dawdling is having to eat dry cereal on the way to school.”Former teacher Coleen Armstrong, the Cincinnati co-author of “Please, Don’t Call My Mother!” How Parents and Schools Can Team Up to Get Kids Back on Track, is far more outspoken: “Don’t bail out your kids!” Kids learn from making mistakes, she insists, which usually means forgetting something. “But what do parents do when that happens?” exclaims Armstrong. “They sweep in like frenetic geese and ferry the forgotten snack or gym shorts to school.” Instead, she recommends, “Lose the urge to rescue. Every time you do that your child learns only that messing up costs him zero in terms of time and inconvenience.”Let the consequence be the punishment. Resist the impulse to hammer a point home with a lecture, continues Armstrong. Forget the tirade and commiserate. “Gee, I’m so sorry that happened. Oh, well, you’ll know better next time. If he or she misses a field trip or gets an F in gym, all the better. It will be a painful lesson—hence, one remembered forever.”Get your kids invested. “Ask your kids what will make things go more smoothly,” advises Kennedy-Moore. “They may have some good ideas—and they’ll be invested in having their solutions work.”Recognize the importance of organization. “One of the greatest gifts a parent can give children is organizational skills!” exclaims one counselor we consulted. “These are the skills they will use the rest of their lives, the skills that may make the difference between achieving their goals in life or not.”This article is copyrighted by and credited to Parenting Press, Aug 2014.