Dream a Little Dream: Toddler Bedtime Challenges

Thinking restless nights are reserved exclusively for the newborn phase? Most parents can tell you all ages can have interrupted nights. One in three children under the age of 5 experiences bedtime struggles, which can include:

• Taking a long time to fall asleep
• Refusing to go to their bed
• Crying at bedtime
• Night wakings (nightmares or night terrors)
• Repeatedly getting out of their own bed

Most sleep patterns are established in infancy, and even the best sleepers can go through sleep problems during toddlerhood. But there is hope for getting your little dreamer off to dreamland.

Getting Ready For Bed

Toddlers thrive on routine and knowing what to expect next. Set an established bedtime that will fit into your family’s schedule.

• Create a bedtime routine for your toddler to follow. For example:
  • Use the toilet
  • Brush teeth
  • Say goodnight to the family (pets, too!)
  • Read books
  • Go to bed at a set time
  • Stay in bed until morning

• Thirty minutes before bedtime, remind your toddler that it is almost time for bed.
  • A visual timer is sometimes helpful for young children, as is a picture chart that shows them their bedtime steps.
  • During this time, start your bedtime routine of brushing teeth and using the bathroom.
  • Remind your toddler again at the 10-minute mark that bedtime is nearing.

• Take a few minutes before bed to read a few books or sing a song.
  • You could also have your toddler take some deep, relaxing breaths. This is something your child can concentrate on themselves as they fall asleep.

• When you are ready to say goodnight, make it short, sweet, and decisive. Avoid giving in to one more request or complaint.

• When morning comes, be ready with the praise.
  • You could even have a special surprise waiting for them when they wake up, like a small toy, or favorite breakfast item, stickers, or stamps.
  • Some toddlers respond well to behavior charts where they get a sticker or stamp for every night they follow their bedtime routine and stay in bed all night.

Staying In Bed

Even if the bedtime routine is going well, your toddler might still have trouble staying in bed all night. One thing that has worked for many families is to check in with their toddler at timed intervals.

• For the first check-in, tell your toddler, “If you stay quietly in bed and do not call out, I will check on you in two minutes.”
• Calmly leave the room and return after two minutes and offer praise: “You are doing so good staying quietly in bed. I am going to check on you in a couple more minutes if you can continue to stay quietly in bed.”
• Return to their room after 5 minutes and offer more praise.
• Continue this routine, gradually increasing the time between check ins. This may take four or five times before your toddler falls asleep.

Resisting Rest

Bedtime challenges are not uncommon and, if your little one is in their own bed, it’s likely that they will get out of their bed sometime during the night.

• If your toddler comes out of their sleeping area, stay calm, gently lead them back to their bed, and say, “Jake, you need to stay in bed. Now close your eyes.”

• If your child is sick or in pain, comfort them in their own bed. You may need to sleep in their room (on a cot or cushion) or bring their mattress into your room and put it beside your bed for them to sleep in.

• But if your toddler is not in pain or sick, it’s best not to give their sleep protests too much attention. And remember to stay focused on these steps:
  • Stay consistent with the bedtime routine
  • Help your child complete the steps of their bedtime routine
  • Say goodnight and leave
  • Return your child to their bed if they leave their room
  • Keep a sleep diary to track their progress

If a gentler approach is needed to help your young toddler fall asleep on their own, one idea that may work would be to lay down in a chair or bed in the same room as them.

• Put your child in their bed, say goodnight, and go lie down in a nearby chair.
  • This technique works best if you avoid eye contact, don’t talk, and pretend to be asleep.

• After a few days, move your chair or bed further away from your child’s bed with the goal of eventually getting out of their sleep space entirely.

Sweet Dreams

No matter the approach you take, make sure everyone in the family is on board with it and can commit to seeing it through. It’s not always easy, but you will be rewarded with a rested toddler and a peaceful night’s sleep for you all. This article is brought to you by Parenting Now! Parenting Educators and authors Amanda Bedortha, Claire Davis and Lynne Swartz and consultant Jay Thompson (andupdatemywebsite.com).  Parenting Now! is passionate about happy, healthy families. For more information about Parenting Now! please visit their website (https://parentingnow.org/) or contact us at info@parentingnow.org

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