7 Tips for Helping Your Child Become a Great Problem Solver

Whether it’s the playground, the classroom or the conference room, everyone needs problem solving skills. Even as an infant, your child is problem solving – how can I get my thumb into my mouth may be the problem of the day to solve.As your child gets a little older, you may be tempted to jump in and solve their problems — whether it’s how to share with a friend or find the right puzzle piece. Give them time before you offer assistance! Letting your child learn the skills needed to face their everyday challenges will:

• Increase their self-confidence.

• Increase their thinking skills.

• Help them develop imagination and curiosity.

• Help them learn patience and adaptability.

• Help them understand concepts such as cause and effect.

• Help with social skills like negotiation.

Encouraging Your Child to be a Problem Solver

The famous soccer player David Beckham is quoted saying, “My secret is practice.” It’s no secret though -- practice helps with any skill, including learning problem-solving skills.  Educational games and toys can be a great help, but there are also plenty of everyday items and situations that will encourage your child to be a problem solver.

• Pretend! Pretending helps your child understand symbols and to think abstractly. An empty box can become a car or a house. A bowl can be a hat or a bed for a doll. Give your child lots of choices. Just about anything can be used for pretend time.

• Logic. Your child is starting to understand logic. This puzzle piece fits into this other piece. If we go down this street, we will get to Grandma’s house. Encourage your child with logic questions – “What do we use on our feet when it’s raining outside?”

• Patterns and Sorting. Older toddlers can begin to categorize objects. Have a treasure hunt where they have to find five blue things. They can even help with laundry – ask your child to match the pairs of socks (provided the dryer doesn’t leave you with only single socks ;)

7 ways to help them through the process

Solving a problem is a process. Usually you don’t find an instant answer. You can help your child learn to have confidence and patience for the process.

1. Name the problem.
   • "The box is too small for all your cars to fit in."
2. Let your child be the leader and organizer.
   • If your child says, "this box is a car" - ask them to show you how it drives and where it's going.
3. Affirm your child's feelings and experiences. Be specific.
   • "It's frustrating to try to fit all your cars in that box. It doesn't work when you try to put them all in."
   • "You fit all the cars in the box. You tried lots of things until you did it. You worked hard."
4. Recognize your child's efforts and help them find alternative answers to problems.
   • "You turned the cars lots of ways to try to get them to all fit in the box. What can we do with the cars that wont fit in?"
5. Watch out for growing frustration and catch it early.
   • Ask open ended questions (as opposed to yes/no questions). It will help get creative juices flowing and abate frustration.
   • "What else can we do with the cars?"
6. If frustration grows, offer choices.
   • "Which of these other boxes looks best for putting the extra cars in that don't fit?"
7. Be patient and be a "mistake role model!"
   • Forgot your grocery list at home? Let your child know mistakes are okay and there are solutions when there is a mistake.
   • “Oops. Dad left the grocery list at home. I wonder what we can find in the store without a list to make a yummy dinner?”

The World Is Your Child’s Playground

So bring on the dress up clothes, the empty boxes, the puzzles and yes, even the laundry. The more your child has lots of ways to solve problems and the more you encourage them and praise them for their efforts, the more they will learn to solve the everyday problems of life with patience, creativity, pride and joy.

Household items or things you find at garage sales or second hand stores can be great for pretend play. Be sure though, they are safe. Watch, for example, for pieces small enough to be a choking hazard or items with sharp edges, or peeling paint on older items. It’s a good idea to wash any used clothing or toys before they are used.

Share this post on Facebook, and with family and friends. Then you can problem solve together. You can get help solving lots of parenting challenges by signing up for Triple P. Check it out! 

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