Supporting Young Boys so They Grow and Thrive

Supporting Young Boys so they Grow and Thrive

We want all children to thrive in early childhood, but boys have biological and cultural differences that need special consideration. Let’s examine the unique needs of young boys, specific challenges that may arise if their needs go unmet, and positive strategies to support exploration, activities, and reduce struggles.

It is important to recognize that there is a wide range of individual differences and variation within each gender. Cultural norms and social expectations can also influence how young children behave and develop. But if we spend enough time around groups of children who are of the same age, we may observe some trends that show how the girls communicate verbally and manage their feelings sooner than the boys.

Boys may have feelings when upset that are externalized (such as impulsivity or anger) while the girls may internalize their feelings (like sadness or anxiety). You may find that the boys are busier and more physically active, take greater risks, build and destroy structures using the materials at hand, seek messy exploration, and can have a harder time sitting still. (An article by Zero to Three offers additional information on some of the interesting differences in brain development for boys and girls.)

Young boys do better when they are enjoying themselves and actively learning through play. Boys who are involved in highly engaging activities are more focused, persistent, emotionally regulated, prosocial, and able to communicate better with their friends than boys left without adequate stimulation or support. When adults follow the boys’ priorities and interests, they will witness fewer behavioral challenges and more meaningful participation in their daily activities and routines. (Stewart Brown is a pioneering researcher who tells us in his TED talk that play is more fun and necessary for physical and emotional health.)

If caregivers are committed to meeting the needs of young boys, there are many strategies that may benefit them. Here are seven effective approaches below.

1. Supporting boys’ need for active play experiences should include heavy work, open-ended materials, reasonable risk-taking, unstructured play, movement and frequent time outdoors.

2. Boys also need support for learning effective problem solving, coping with failure, safe ways for calming down when upset, maintaining good boundaries, peaceful conflict resolution, and “loving limits” for behavior.

3. Quiet and calming activities can be nurturing for young boys. Find children’s books on topics they love, play soft music, allow forts and hideaway areas, and provide varied materials for using their hands.  When a young child is stressed, we can support them through deep breathing, grounding practices that feel soothing, and designated areas to calm their body, mind, and emotions.

4. Young children need more frequent rest and refueling opportunities, which should include a well-balanced diet, clean drinking water, adequate sleep, and good hygiene for teeth and bodies, and regular medical care and developmental check ups.

5. Boys’ social and emotional needs can be supported by encouraging empathy and taking the perspective of others. Adults can cultivate a reverence for life by having boys care for plants, insects, or animals. We can offer hugs and encouragement whenever needed.

6. Young boys also benefit from close adult males who can show them through words and actions what to do, modeling expected behaviors.

7. Perhaps most of all, young boys need relationships with caregivers who provide adequate time for them, loving attention, lots of affection, and positive guidance that focuses on their strengths, needs, and interests.

Overall, young boys need trustworthy adults using developmentally appropriate expectations and positive discipline to guide them. Boys also need supportive environments that encourage them to grow in healthy ways that align with their need for autonomy and initiative. When they have these supports they can truly thrive!

Aoife Rose Magee, PhD, earned a doctoral degree in Special Education from the University of Oregon Early Intervention Program. Her personal and professional interests have been largely focused on the social-emotional development of young children and how positive parenting and teaching practices may contribute to healthy development, promote resiliency, and mediate risk factors. Aoife is professional development specialist for students and practitioners in the areas of Early Childhood Education, Early Intervention/Early Childhood Special Education and Parenting Education.  Aoife serves as a Master Trainer for the Oregon Registry and frequently provides community based and private workshops for early childhood educators, parenting educators, and other professionals. For more than thirty years, she worked directly with families as a parenting educator, and she is a former Oregon Parenting Education Collaborative Hub Coordinator for the Parenting Success Network. She currently teaches as a full-time faculty in the Early Childhood Education Program at Lane Community College. She is also the mother of a fantastic young adult son and enjoys nature and creative pursuits in her spare time.