Skip to main content
Language
RESOURCES BY
Search
Search

Author Archives: Early Childhood Hub

Older posts

Navigating Elementary School Behavior: A Guide for Parents from Parenting Now

Posted on by

 

Navigating Elementary School Behavior: A Guide for Parents
Behavioral issues at school can be a concern for both parents and teachers. However, with the right approach, these issues can be effectively managed to ensure your child’s success. Here are some tips to help you work with your child’s teacher and address behavior problems at school:
Understanding Common School Behavior Problems
Common behavior problems at school include not following instructions, distracting other children, calling out, and not finishing assigned work. These behaviors can interfere with your child’s learning and development if not addressed promptly.
Why Children Misbehave at School
Children may misbehave at school due to various reasons, including not understanding the rules, seeking attention, or feeling bored or overwhelmed. It’s important to address the root cause of the behavior to effectively manage it.
Managing School Behavior Problems
1. Discuss the problem with your child: Ask your child about any issues they may be experiencing at school and involve them in finding solutions.
2. Discuss the problem with the teacher: Schedule a meeting with your child’s teacher to understand the behavior from their perspective and collaborate on a plan of action.
3. Act on useful suggestions: Implement the teacher’s suggestions, along with your child’s ideas, to develop a plan to address the behavior.
4. Plan a home-school program: If the behavior persists, work with the teacher to create a home-school program to manage your child’s behavior. This may include a behavior diary and clear expectations for behavior.
5. Praise and reward: Acknowledge your child’s efforts to improve their behavior and provide positive reinforcement for following the rules.
6. Apply consequences: If your child does not meet the behavior goals, apply consequences consistently to help them understand the importance of following the rules.
7. Review progress: Check in with the teacher regularly to assess your child’s progress and adjust the plan as needed.

Key Steps

  • Discuss the problem with your child and the teacher.
  • Try out useful suggestions and implement a plan of action.
  • If problems persist, plan a home-school program with the teacher.
  • Explain the program to your child, including the goals, rewards, and consequences.
  • Praise and reward your child for following the rules and meeting behavior goals.
  • Apply consequences if your child does not meet the goals.
  • Review progress with the teacher and adjust the plan as needed.

By working closely with your child’s teacher and implementing these strategies, you can help your child behave responsibly at school and succeed academically.

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program
Are you interested in receiving more parenting advice? Triple P Online – Positive Parenting Program could be for you! This online parenting program allows you to take a parenting class in the comfort of your own home!

If you live in Lane County, you can get Triple P Online for free by filling out the form on the Triple P page. A staff person from Parenting Now will send you an access code within 24 hours and you’ll be able to start using the program right away!

Summer Safety Tips for Kids

Posted on by

 

As temperatures rise, it’s essential to prioritize safety while kids enjoy the great outdoors. Here are some practical tips to keep your little ones safe during the summer months:

  • Protect Kids’ Skin:

    • Sunburn is a common concern. Apply sunscreen with at least 15 to 50 SPF before outdoor play. Reapply every two hours or after swimming, sweating, or toweling off.

    • Babies under six months should be kept out of direct sunlight. Dress them in lightweight clothing and use sun hats and umbrellas for shade.

    • Remember that harmful UV rays are strongest between 10 a.m. and 4 p.m., even when in the shade.

  • Hydrate, Hydrate, Hydrate:

    • Keep kids hydrated at all times. Encourage water consumption, especially before big activities or playdates.

    • Avoid soda, energy drinks, and fruit juices, as they may worsen dehydration.

    • Check the color of your child’s urine—it should be light yellow, not golden or dark.

  • Maintain Healthy Eating Habits:

    • Despite tempting summer treats, stick to healthy eating habits. Ensure your kids get the necessary vitamins and nutrients.

    • Abide by consistent eating patterns to fuel their summer fun.

  • Beware of Hot Cars:

    • Never leave a child unattended in a hot car. Even loving caregivers can forget a sleeping child in the backseat.

    • Create reminders (e.g., placing your phone or bag in the backseat) to prevent this tragic situation.

Remember, summer is about fun, but safety should always come first.

Nurturing Your Relationship: The Key to Positive Parenting

Posted on by

Parenting is a journey filled with joy, challenges, and countless decisions. One of the most significant factors in successful parenting is the relationship between partners. When parents work together, communicate effectively, and support each other, they create a stable and loving environment that benefits the entire family.

Common Parenting Disagreements
It’s natural for parents to have different ideas about parenting. From household rules to discipline strategies, disagreements can arise.

Some common areas of disagreement include:

  • Household rules and expectations

  • Discipline techniques and who should be responsible for discipline

  • Arguments or disagreements in front of children

  • Sharing responsibilities for childcare and household tasks

  • Differences in parenting styles, such as one parent being more lenient than the other

  • Inconsistencies in enforcing rules or supporting each other’s decisions

  • Understanding Parental Conflict

  • Conflict between partners over parenting issues is common. Each parent brings their own beliefs, values, and experiences to the table, which can lead to differences in parenting approaches. The day-to-day demands of parenting, especially with young or challenging children, can strain any relationship. When parents are already feeling stressed or overwhelmed, working together as a team can become even more challenging.

Tips for Nurturing Your Relationship:

  • Focus on your own behavior: Instead of blaming or criticizing your partner, focus on your own
    actions and how they contribute to parenting challenges.

  • Take care of your relationship: Show appreciation for your partner’s efforts, communicate affection, and spend quality time together.

  • Share parenting roles: Discuss and divide household and parenting tasks and make important decisions together.

  • Open communication: Talk openly and calmly with your partner, listen to their perspective, and avoid negative communication habits.

  • Give and receive feedback: Offer constructive feedback to each other, focusing on improvement rather than criticism.

Solving Problems Together:

  • Avoid conflict in front of your child: Children learn from watching their parents, so model
    problem-solving and conflict resolution calmly.

  • Discuss problems calmly: State the problem clearly, brainstorm solutions, choose the best one, try it out, and review its effectiveness.

  • Seek professional help if needed: If conflicts persist or you’re unhappy in your relationship,
    consider seeking professional advice to address underlying issues.

Conclusion
Parenting is a shared responsibility that requires effective communication, mutual support, and teamwork. By nurturing your relationship, communicating openly, and working together, you can create a positive and supportive environment for your children to thrive.

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program
Are you interested in receiving more parenting advice? Triple P Online – Positive Parenting Program could be for you! This online parenting program allows you to take a parenting class in the comfort of your own home! If you live in Lane County, you can get Triple P Online for free by filling out the form on the Triple P page. A staff person from Parenting Now will send you an access code within 24 hours and you’ll be able to start using the program right away!

Slow Down and Play

Posted on by

As an early childhood education student, the more I learned, the more I decided that best practices for young kids were best for us all. We can all benefit from slowing down, making time for wonder, delighting in simple joys, playing, snuggling, moving outdoors, giggling, and maybe even napping. How can we invite these practices into our parenting education classes?

These concepts can build community within your classes and model fun ideas for family life. Slow down and play!

Set the Stage

Joyfully greeting our families helps them feel more comfortable and welcomed in what might be a vulnerable space. We can have materials for people to interact with during the class, such as Play-Doh, crayons, or magna-tiles. If you have slides or posters you can design, add some color and graphics to help them pop. There are many free templates online, such as Slidesgo or Canva). Sitting with people, playing with them, and chatting is an excellent opportunity to center play and relationships. This “special time” was developed by Sheila Eyberg and described in this NPR article. Use this time to talk through the PRIDE (Praise, Reflect, Imitate, Describe, Enthusiasm) acronym referenced in the NPR article so families can try this at home.

Plan Your Breaks

Maybe it seems counterintuitive to plan play, but boosting happiness takes effort. Shawn Achor writes in The Happiness Advantage, “Happiness is not just a mood – it’s a work ethic.” During our short breaks in class, we can infuse some play. Not only is this an opportunity for us to feel better, but we are also modeling strategies for our class to use at home. We can show a quick art inspiration with a clip from Draw Together. We might energize ourselves with a brief walk outdoors around the building. We can decorate the sidewalk outside with chalk art. We might move through a guided meditation.

Abundance

There’s more than enough joy to go around. Ingrid Fetell Lee and the School of Joy remind us that “someone else finding joy doesn’t decrease our own chances. In fact, it makes it more likely.” We are not in competition with each other. Some of our internal scripts reinforce this scarcity concept. We can help reframe this into abundance. The School of Joy offers ideas to react to comments such as, “I don’t have time,” suggesting, “I have plenty of time to do what matters to me.” Turn “You can’t get something for nothing” into “I don’t need to sacrifice to achieve my dreams.”

Boost Engagement

Sometimes, a family member in the class may not be as engaged as we would love. We can start with ourselves to ensure that we are centered and welcoming. Are we harboring any biases that may be barriers? Are there identity markers that we can learn more about to ensure our classes are inclusive for them? Consider their strengths. Seeing the best in them might help them feel validated and develop a sense of belonging in class. Ask them to illustrate an agenda if you notice them doodling during class. Athina Ntoulia writes for NAEYC, “Inclusive teachers learn about children’s [people’s] unique skills, talents, and passions and use that information to create engaging learning experiences.”

Take a Field Trip!

Do you remember how exciting field trips were in grade school? Shawn Achor writes in The Happiness Advantage, “Often, the most enjoyable part of an activity is the anticipation.” Schedule optional activities for your class to build community and joy. Looking forward to something fun on the calendar, and the event itself can reap rewards. You’re in the perfect spot in western Oregon to try forest bathing. Invite all family members along. Young kids will slow everyone down, which is ideal, according to Gary Evans, director of the Forest Bathing Institute: “The difference between normal activities and forest bathing is that we’re going to move very slowly,” says Evans. Forest bathing is about calming down your nervous system and reducing your heart rate and blood pressure.” Travel Oregon has inspiration for other field trip ideas close to home for you.

As busy professionals, I understand that play can seem challenging to add to our days. By adding some of these rituals to your life first, you may recognize benefits that convince you of the value of play and rest.

Resources

Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor

Joyful by Ingrid Lee Fetell

Rest is Resistance by Tricia Hersey

Rest Life by Tricia Hersey

Ten Percent Happier

Keeping Kids Safe in the Home

Posted on by

Children love to explore and having a safe home environment allows them to do this to the fullest extent! The more opportunities kids have to safely explore, touch, taste, smell, and look at things, the more they develop and learn. Children are curious and love to experiment- that’s how they learn and master skills. We want to provide a safe place for all that learning to occur!

The Kitchen

The kitchen is a common place for accidents in the home. Make sure to keep anything that could harm your kids out of reach. This includes knives, scissors, lighters, glassware, medicine, and any cleaners such as bleach. Keep your dishwasher closed tightly at all times, and put any of the above-mentioned items in high cabinets, or cabinets that lock. Dispose of any old, unneeded, or outdated medications and cleaning supplies. Keep cleaning supplies, including dishwasher soap and laundry detergent locked in a cabinet.

The stove and oven are always tempting to young children, so make sure to keep the handles of any pots and pans turned facing in. Use the back burners when possible to minimize the risk of your child touching a hot surface. This is especially important if you have a flat, glass-top stove.
It is not always obvious when the surface is hot. To keep kids from pulling appliances onto themselves, hide any cords out of sight.

Keep electrical outlets covered with safety covers that fit into the socket when not in use. Outlets, plugs, and cords can be dangerous for infants and toddlers. Keep a fire extinguisher and fire blanket somewhere nearby. Regularly check that your smoke alarms and carbon monoxide alarms are working properly. An easy time to remember to check these is when we change our clocks backward or forward with the seasons.

Bathrooms

Once infants and toddlers learn to pull to stand, they may want to pull themselves up onto the bathtub or try to reach faucets. However, this can cause burns and other harmful water injuries. Keep bathroom doors closed when they are not being used. Never leave your kids unattended in a bath, even for a moment. Kids can drown quickly, in just a few inches of water. If you have to leave the bathroom, take your kids with you. Always check the temperature of the bathwater before putting your kids in as well. The recommendation is to set your hot water heater at 120 degrees to prevent scalding.

Stairs and Doorways

As early as 8 months, babies may start trying to climb stairs. However, falling downstairs can cause neck and spine injuries. If possible, put baby gates at the top and bottom of stairs and keep them closed. Always closely supervise your infants and toddlers when going up and down stairs. Crawling up a few stairs and then going down backward on hands and knees is sometimes a helpful strategy for aggressive climbers. When possible, keep any inside doors propped open with door stops or wedges. This stops your young kids from getting their fingers shut in the door. In a pinch, throwing a sock over the top of the door should keep it from closing. Keep any doors leading outside firmly closed and locked.

Toys

Always follow recommendations for ages on toys, and check recall lists. Regularly check for any broken or missing pieces, as well as batteries. If you have older children in your home, think about the dangers their toys can pose for smaller siblings. If they’re buying marbles for example, where can you keep them that will ensure your toddler won’t be able to access them? Small toys, or toys with removable pieces, can be a choking hazard. Keep this in mind and communicate with your older kids if a toy is absolutely not for their little brother or sister. Home safety can seem like a big task, especially when young children are involved. Start by making simple changes where your kids spend most of their time, such as in the family room. Slowly go through rooms in your home to assess what could possibly be dangerous, and make changes as needed. If you have an infant, check your space for hazards by getting down on your hands and knees and crawling through your space to see the world from their perspective. You may be surprised to discover what you find. As we move into summer and kids are spending more time at home, being too safe is never a bad thing!

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program

Are you interested in receiving more parenting advice? Triple P Online – Positive Parenting Program could be for you! This online parenting program allows you to take a parenting class in the comfort of your own home! If you live in Lane County, you can get Triple P Online for free by filling out the form on the Triple P page. A staff person from Parenting Now will send you an access code within 24 hours and you’ll be able to start using the program right away!

Child Abuse Prevention Month: Empowering Families, Protecting Children

Posted on by

April is a significant month for child safety and well-being. As the flowers bloom and the days lengthen, we also raise awareness about preventing child abuse and neglect. In Oregon, this critical mission is championed by our staff at Parenting Now, who are dedicated to supporting families with young children. Let’s delve into the statistics and explore how Parenting Now plays a pivotal role in safeguarding our most vulnerable members of society.

The Numbers Speak: 

In 2019, 17.5 children per 1,000 were victims of abuse or neglect in Lane County. These alarming figures underscore the urgent need for protective measures and support systems. The Oregon Child Abuse Prevalence Study (OCAPS, 2019) sheds further light on the issue. It estimates that a staggering 24,000 Lane County youth have encountered child abuse, neglect, or exposure to domestic violence. Additionally, nearly 100,000 Lane County adults have faced similar traumatic experiences.

Challenges and Opportunities:

While the numbers are sobering, they also serve as a call to action. Parenting Now offers evidence-based parenting programs that empower parents with knowledge and skills. These programs focus on positive parenting practices, child development, and effective communication. By equipping parents with tools to navigate challenges, Parenting Now helps reduce the risk of abuse and promotes healthy family dynamics.

Safeguarding Children at Risk

Parenting programs lead to positive changes in parenting practices. Parents who participate in these programs are more likely to use non-violent discipline methods, reduce yelling, and enhance their emotional regulation skills. Parenting Now’s programs are accessible to all families, not just those identified as high-risk for child maltreatment. This approach eliminates stigma and ensures that every parent can benefit from support. By reaching a broad population, they contribute to preventing abuse across diverse communities.

Parenting Now: A Beacon of Support

Parenting Now is more than an organization; it’s a lifeline for parents. Parenting Now provides parenting education, support, and resources to families with young children. Our vision? That all children are raised by nurturing, skilled parents.

How Does Parenting Now Combat Child Abuse?

  1. Parenting Groups: In these groups, parents learn how to create loving relationships with their children. Dr. Jaylynn Kao, MD, emphasizes that these groups normalize parenting challenges, showing parents that what they’re experiencing is often okay. Michelle Crespino, a parent, echoes this sentiment, emphasizing that she felt less alone after joining Parenting Now.

  2. Evidence-Based Curricula: Parenting Now equips educators with evidence-based curricula and enrichment materials. These educators, armed with knowledge, empower parents to navigate the complexities of raising children.

  3. Community Investment: Former University of Oregon President David Frohnmayer aptly describes Parenting Now as a “community investment of the most priceless kind.” By supporting strong families, Parenting Now ensures that nurturing family life becomes every child’s birthright.

As April unfolds, let’s honor Child Abuse Prevention Month by recognizing the tireless efforts of organizations like Parenting Now. Together, we can create a world where children thrive, families flourish, and abuse becomes a distant memory. For more information about our groups and enrollment, please visit us here: https://parentingnow.org/parents/

Getting Along with Others

Posted on by

Toddlers have a lot of big emotions – they’re learning how to exist in the world and how to navigate day-to-day experiences while managing their emotions and feelings. They often don’t have a filter or even know what is or isn’t appropriate to say or do, and at times this can include lashing out or hurting others. When your child wants something and doesn’t know how to express it, they may hit, bite, scratch, or throw something. They aren’t trying to be mean or hurtful, they’re just trying to figure out how to get what they want!

When your toddler acts out by hurting someone or something, it is often because they’re having difficulty dealing with really big feelings, such as frustration or anger. When we experience a big emotion, our brain goes into survival mode, and we don’t have access to our thought process. In order to bring our thinking brain back online, we need to implement a calming strategy such as taking a deep breath. Then we can identify and name the emotion, the brain can calm, and we can find the words to express what we want or need.

You can support your child by paying close attention to their emotions and trying to head off any violent actions before the frustration takes over. Ask them how they are feeling and help them name their emotion. Validate their feelings by saying something like, “I understand you are angry.” It may take a few moments for them to calm down. Then you can help them identify and ask for what they want or need. As your toddler’s communication skills develop, challenging behaviors will often decrease naturally.

How to help prevent your child from acting out physically

  • Help your child recognize and express their feelings. Talk about your own feelings with your kids. Teach them the name of feelings during everyday activities – when your bag of groceries rips in the driveway, explain that you are angry. Do this when you notice your child having feelings too. If their sibling took their favorite doll, say “How are you feeling? Are you angry because your brother is playing with your doll?” Putting names on feelings is the first big step in identifying and expressing them.

  • Help your child say what they want. Help your child by asking for what they want in appropriate situations. If your child has waited patiently for the doll, remind them to say “My turn, please” or teach them to sign if they are not verbal yet. This is a great way for younger toddlers to communicate calmly while not being able to speak just yet.

  • Prepare your child for playing with others. When you know a play date is coming up, talk to them about playing with their friends. Remind them to play gently and take turns. You can even tell them that they can always come get you if they feel upset or overwhelmed.

  • Watch your child closely. If possible, stay nearby and watch your child while playing. Steering them in the right direction before problems arise will create a calmer play environment and give you opportunities to praise your child. If you see that your child is about to throw a toy or hit, act quickly and prevent them from hurting themselves or others. Later on, speak to them about what was unsafe at the moment and what can be done next time.

It’s important to remember that toddlers are brand new to social situations, and are still actively developing the skills needed to be a good friend, to share, and to exist peacefully around others.

Be a good role model for your child, as they want nothing more than to be just like you! Use everyday opportunities to show them how to use kind words, manage emotions, ask for help, greet others, and stay calm in tricky situations. Model for your child how to say “sorry” when it’s needed, and how to ask for things that you need. Your toddler is like a sponge, and will soak up each and every lesson you teach them this way!

Finally, encourage behavior that you like to see in your child. If they ask for a turn on a swing instead of demanding or pushing the child currently swinging, tell them that you’re proud of them! If they say please when waiting for a toy, talk about how nice it is to see them asking. When your child isn’t actively in a situation that requires social interaction, you can talk with them about why you value this behavior in your family, and how great it is that they’re exhibiting it.

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program

Are you interested in receiving more parenting advice? Triple P Online – Positive Parenting Program could be for you! This online parenting program allows you to take a parenting class in the comfort of your own home! If you live in Lane County, you can get Triple P Online for free by filling out the form on the Triple P page. A staff person from Parenting Now will send you an access code within 24 hours and you’ll be able to start using the program right away!

Parenting Adopted Children

Posted on by

As my sister prepared to adopt her daughter, our family excitedly gathered clothes, books, and toys for her. My sister shared photos and advice that she received from her case workers. She read about how best to transition a child to a new home and planned as much as she could for a new addition to the family. As delighted as we all were, we also wondered about additional considerations my niece would need because of her past experiences.

Welcoming a child to the family through adoption or fostering is exciting! Adoption might come with other feelings as well, including doubt, love, grief, and joy. Each child brings their own personality, needs, and quirks that we as parents and caregivers learn about as we get to know our children. You may have a lot of information about your child’s experience and you may not – and that’s okay. You can still build a trusting, loving attachment relationship and we can help build their resilience. Depending on the age of the child when they join the family and their experiences before adoption, adopted children may have a different timeline for important developmental milestones or faced trauma. Of course, you are able to raise a happy, well-adjusted child – especially with extra knowledge about child development.

Whether you are preparing for adoption or have already adopted and welcomed one or more children into your family, try these strategies at home:

Learn about child development

Find reputable resources, such as Just in Time Parenting (which is available in English and Spanish). Learn about different stages of child development – those leading up to your child’s time joining your family as well as your child’s current age and stage. This website shares research, activities, advice, and fun from birth through age five. Some of the tips provided are simple games to build coordination. For example, 25-26 months olds can play with a spoon and pan to copy sounds you make while drumming. This builds rhythm, coordination, and builds your relationship.

Focus on building a positive, trusting relationship

At seven months old, Just in Time Parenting reminds readers that babies are learning about different people. They may have developed caring, trusting attachment relationships with their caregivers before coming to your family or they might be developing these relationships for the first time. Even with trusting relationships, children at this age may cry or scream with other people (including family members they know and love!). This is normal and part of the process of learning who they can trust. Again, babies that may not have attached to a loving parent or caregiver before this age may be dealing with trust, attachment, and abandonment issues that will require extra patience, effort, and time to build those healthy relationships.

Value play time together!

Children and adults need to play. The time spent together will build your relationship and many skills. Gross-motor (large muscles: leg & arm muscles & balance) and fine-motor (small muscles in fingers) skills are built through running, dancing, skipping, drawing, painting, and building. Children will solve problems, use their imagination, and build a strong connection with their playmates. Play time is also an opportunity to work through issues they may have faced, such as a stressful separation, a long plane ride, or difficult doctor visits.

Join a parenting class

Connect with other families, build confidence, and establish better relationships with your children as well as with families in your community. Learn ways to raise confident, kind, independent children. For those in Oregon, you can find your local parenting organization that hosts free parenting classes and events here.

Seek out any needed medical support and therapy for your child

This may mean dentist appointments, occupational therapy, play therapy and speech and language support. Ask your pediatrician about Early Intervention services that may be useful. Boost your child with experts to prevent or minimize issues later in childhood.

Advocate for your child

Ask your child care providers to share signs of emotional distress they may see so you can bring them to the attention of your child’s medical team or social workers. Educate the people in your child’s life (daycare providers, grandparents, or teachers) about your child’s specific needs and how best to bolster them so your child is surrounded by people who can care for them in the most meaningful manner. For example, tell caregivers that you are working to build trust with your child. If they refuse to share a toy, use this as an opportunity to build empathy. Talk to your child about how they feel when they want something someone else has. How does it feel when that person shares? How does it feel when that person won’t share? How does it feel when you share with someone? These conversations will boost relationships and build social and emotional skills.

My niece has brought much joy to our family and we have all learned from her. One of my favorite lessons she has shared is unconditional love. We accept her for who she is and do our best to support her. Our utmost goal has always been to meet her needs. She is perfectly imperfect and our job is to love her; just the same as for all the other children in our family.

Tips for parents and caregivers

  • Parent children based on emotional age.

  • Instead of “time out”, take a break together to help build attachment.

  • Be consistent and predictable.

  • Model and teach desirable behaviors.

  • Be patient (with yourself and your child).

  • Remain calm and help the child regulate herself before discussing consequences.

  • Allow extra time transitioning between activities.

  • Create a “safe place” for family members to calm down and take a break.

Children’s Books

Babies Come From Airports by Erin Dealey

How I Was Adopted by Joanna Cole

A Family is a Family is a Family by Sara O’Leary

Websites

Oregon Post Adoption Resource Center

KEEP for Families: parenting education program and supports for families with adopted children

Child Trauma

Just in Time Parenting

Quality Improvement Center for Adoption and Guardianship Support and Preservation

Chores and Cleaning Up

Posted on by

Your kids learn from watching you, they want to grow up and be just like you- and that includes cleaning the house!

Kids benefit from participating regularly in chores in many different ways. Chores teach children responsibility, pride in their belongings and their home, routine, and other lifelong skills that will help kids become more successful and organized later on in life. It’s important, however, for parents to find the right balance of appropriate chores based on their child’s age and ability. To begin teaching your child chores, start with clear communication. Your kids learn from watching you, they want to grow up and be just like you- and that includes cleaning the house! Sit down with your child and talk to them about how every family member contributes to chores and keeping the house clean, and tell them how excited you are to give them their very own chore! Talk about all the things that need to be done for the house to keep everything running smoothly. For example, after dinner, we put the dishes in the sink, rinse them, and load the dishwasher. What would happen if we didn’t do the dishes? (We wouldn’t have dishes to use for our next meal.)

Find out what your children are interested in learning or doing to contribute. If your child is fascinated with the vacuum cleaner, maybe they would like to vacuum the living room. Walk them through exactly what you expect them to do. The step before vacuuming is to pick toys up off the floor. (“Your stuffed animals go in the basket when you’re done playing with them”). Especially when your child is learning, notice and praise their effort. Try to let go of your standards of perfection, or that there is a right way to do it (your way). There are many ways to fold a towel. As long as the towels fit in the cabinet, can you let go of your “right way?” Help them to feel proud of themselves for doing their chores. They are a valuable part of the family, and we all can appreciate how everyone contributes.

When talking to your toddler about chores, keep it very simple. While your ten-year-old might be able to unload the dishwasher with very little direction, your three-year-old may need more simple and clear instructions, as well as gentle reminders and redirection to stay on task to pick up their toys off the floor. When your toddler is first learning, help them out. As they get better at their chore, gradually help less and less. Before you know it, they’ll be completing their tasks on their own!

As your child gets older and masters their original chores, begin adding in new ones. Consider varying chores week-to-week to mitigate frustration or boredom. If they’re pros at putting their toys in the basket, practice having them line their books on the bookshelf as well, and then put their plate in the sink after dinner.

Some kids thrive by seeing their chores written out in a chart, and others prefer being reminded at certain times of the day (for example, laundry gets taken out in the morning and toys are picked up after dinner). Find what works best for you and your family, and follow through with it. And as with anything, give your child lots of praise! Chores aren’t always fun for kids, but positive reinforcement gives them the encouragement they need to continue and be successful.

Chore ideas based on age:

Ages 2-3
● Put away toys
● Water plants
● Pile up books
Ages 4-5
● Unload utensils from the dishwasher
● Help put away groceries
● Make their bed
● Clear the table
● Fill up the pet’s food bowl
Ages 6-7
● Sweep floors
● Set the table
● Sort laundry
● Keep their room tidy
Ages 8+
● Load dishwasher
● Vacuum
● Put away their laundry
● Make their own snacks
● Take the pet for a walk

As with anything, focus more on your child’s efforts and less on perfection. If your child is trying their best and contributing to the household chores, provide them with plenty of praise consistently. They won’t always want to do their chores, and that’s normal. Try to make it fun by racing to see who can finish the quickest, or by helping them be silly during chores. Keep it fun!

Managing Stress as a Parent

Posted on by

High levels of stress can make it hard to be calm and consistent with our children.

Stress is a natural response to a threat or a challenge. It’s our mind’s and body’s way of preparing us to respond to something difficult or unexpected. When we experience stress, our bodies have a physical reaction, and our minds race. Family life can be overwhelming, and busy, and causes stress for all of us at times.

High levels of stress can make it hard to be calm and consistent with our children. We may find it challenging to spend enjoyable quality time with our kids when we’re experiencing stress; however, children thrive when their parents are responsive and calm in the midst of chaos, and they learn to adapt to stress by observing your reactions to it. Processing stress can be incredibly challenging, but there are many tools and techniques you can practice to help manage stressful situations.

How to Recognize Stress

When we experience a stressful event or situation, our brain processes that event with a physical, emotional, and mental reaction. Which response we notice first varies from person to person, but we all have patterns of response we learned in our formative years. The trick is to identify and respond to your early warning signs of stress and implement a calming strategy to return to equilibrium and a calm presence. Then you can thoughtfully respond to your child.

Your body delivers clear warning signs that communicate your stress levels:

  • Stiff muscles (shoulders or neck tight, jaw clenching)

  • Headaches or stomach aches or butterflies

  • Irritability or anger (negative thoughts or judgments)

  • Disturbed sleep (worried thoughts, tossing and turning)

  • Problems concentrating (intruding thoughts, worries)

  • Feeling overwhelmed or unable to keep up with everything (freeze response; where do I start?)

What do you notice first in your body? When you notice a physical response, that is the time to use a calming strategy.

How to Manage/Reduce Stress 

Notice the tension and relax 

The muscles in your body naturally tighten when you get stressed. You might feel tension in your shoulders, neck, jaw, or other parts of your body.

When you notice yourself getting into a cycle of stress leading to physical tension, relaxation techniques can help. There are many ways to reduce physical symptoms of stress.

  • Breathing: Take slow, deep breaths. Breathe in through your nose, deeply into your lungs, and out through your mouth, exhaling completely. When you’ve taken a full breath, hold it in for a moment and then breathe out slowly, being sure to let out all your breath.

  • Muscle Relaxation: When you notice a specific muscle set getting tense, try to find a quiet time to relax uninterrupted. Sit or stand with your feet flat on the floor, your head held straight and your hands resting on your thighs. The aim of this exercise is to intentionally tighten and then relax each set of muscles.

  • Mindfulness: With practice, we can become more aware of what we are thinking, feeling, and doing in the present moment. Mindfulness helps us pause briefly before responding or taking action, giving us time to make a choice about what we’d really like to do or say. The aim of mindfulness is to focus on the moment by paying attention to your breathing, and what you feel and hear. If and when your mind wanders, notice those thoughts and acknowledge them, then bring it back to your breathing. By practicing mindfulness during calm times, you’ll be able to better control yourself and react in more positive ways during high-stress situations.

When you’re feeling stressed, try to catch yourself and then challenge any unhelpful thoughts you may have. These thoughts might pop up with little or no warning, and while they may feel believable during a high-stress moment, they will often seem exaggerated later on. If you find yourself thinking “I’m a terrible parent,” try to catch that this is just a thought that will cause you more stress. This might take some practice but will be very helpful in managing your stress.

Once you acknowledge that you’re having an unhelpful thought, try to challenge the thought until you’ve reached a more helpful way of thinking. To challenge these, question whether or not what you’re saying is really true. Ask yourself if you’d say this to a spouse or friend in this situation. Are you really a terrible parent, or did you have a challenging time putting the kids down for bed tonight?

When you recognize signs of stress, are able to implement a successful calming strategy, and then respond to the stressor in a proactive way, you are teaching a positive life skill to your children. It can be helpful to walk through the experience out loud- for example, you might say, “Rats! I got distracted and burned the pancakes! I’m disappointed, but it’s not the end of the world. I’m going to slow down, take a deep breath, and start over.”

Parenting is challenging, and stressful situations will arise. When all is said and done, try to have compassion for yourself. Recognize what went well in your day, and congratulate yourself for those accomplishments. If things don’t go as planned, try not to be too hard on yourself. There are things that are out of control, and not every day can go exactly as planned. Utilize your coping and stress management skills, and treat yourself with kindness.

Triple P – Positive Parenting Program

Are you interested in receiving more parenting advice? Triple P Online – Positive Parenting Program could be for you! This online parenting program allows you to take a parenting class in the comfort of your own home!

If you live in Lane County, you can get Triple P Online for free by filling out the form on the Triple P page. A staff person from Parenting Now will send you an access code within 24 hours and you’ll be able to start using the program right away! For more information about the program and to sign up visit the Triple P page.

Older posts