Parenting Together: Building a Bond with Baby

A strong bond, often referred to as a secure attachment, is a two-way relationship: your baby responds to your cues just as you respond to theirs. By responding to their needs, you are building trust, which helps them feel safe and understood.

What Do Cues Look Like?  

In infancy, cues are the small signals that babies use to express their needs or feelings.

Since they cannot yet talk, they rely on sounds, movements, and facial expressions to communicate. Paying attention to these cues is important, and overtime time, you will begin to see patterns related to their needs.

Common cues might include turning their head with an open mouth, smacking their lips, or making fussing sounds when they are hungry. Rubbing their eyes, yawning, or becoming quiet or fussy may suggest that they are tired. Crying is often the most recognizable signal for expressing their needs, including a desire for comfort.

Ways to Respond

1. It can be helpful to notice early signs of hunger, such as lip smacking. Responding to these early signals before they begin to cry can create a more positive feeding experience.
2. When you observe signs of tiredness, like yawning or eye rubbing, gently soothing them to sleep may be beneficial. This might involve swaddling or rocking them in a quiet, dim environment to help them settle.
3. In moments of fussiness, picking them up and holding them close can often bring comfort. Using a gentle voice and soft movements can help soothe them, as babies love skin-to-skin touch and voice.
4. When your baby makes eye contact or reaches out to you, offer smiles, talk to them, or make gentle sounds. A great activity to connect is talking to your baby while changing their diaper. As silly as it sounds, talking to them about each step of changing their diaper is a way to engage with them routinely.

Fostering a secure attachment with your baby plays a huge role in supporting your baby’s development. This two-way relationship builds trust, helping you and your baby feel strongly connected.

Book Nook

Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?

By Bill Martin Jr and Eric Carle

Whose Toes Are Those?

Written by Jabari Asim, Illustrated by LeUyen Pham

Bunny to Bunny: Sing Me Your Song

Collaboratively Written

References

Karakaş NM, Dağlı FŞ. The importance of attachment in infant and influencing factors. Turk Pediatri Ars. 2019 Jul 11;54(2):76-81. doi: 10.14744/TurkPediatriArs.2018.80269. PMID: 31384141; PMCID: PMC6666355.

This Parenting Together newsletter was written by Jasmine Tua Karing.

Parenting Together is a monthly newsletter from the Oregon Parenting Education Collaborative. It was first launched in 2015 as a research-based resource for parents. Parenting Together aims to support caregivers of children between the ages of zero and five. It is available each month in English and Spanish. To access Parenting Together newsletters posted prior to January 2025, visit our archive.

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